Even addicts said it could not be done the way we had it planned. We believed
in openly scheduled meetings-no more hiding as other groups had tried. We
believed this differed from all other methods tried before by those who
advocated long withdrawal from society. We felt that the sooner the addict
could face his problem in everyday living, just that much faster would he
become a real productive citizen. We eventually have to stand on our own feet
and face life on its own terms, so why not from the start.
Because of this, of course, many relapsed and many were lost completely.
However, many stayed and some came back after their setback. The brighter part
is the fact that of those who are now our members, many have long terms of
complete abstinence and are better able to help the newcomer. Their attitude,
based on the spiritual values of our steps and traditions, is the dynamic force
that is bringing increase and unity to our program. Now we know that the time
has come when that tired old lie, "Once an addict, always an addict",
will no longer be tolerated by either society or the addict himself. We do
recover.
Recovery begins with surrender. From that point forward, each of us is reminded
that a day clean is a day won. In Narcotics Anonymous our attitudes, thoughts
and reactions change. We come to realize that we are not alien and begin to
understand and accept who we are.
As long as there have been people, addiction has existed. For us, addiction is
an obsession to use the drugs that are destroying us followed by a compulsion
which forces us to continue. Complete abstinence is the foundation for our new
way of life.
In the past, there was no hope for an addict. In Narcotics Anonymous, we learn
to share the loneliness, anger and fear that addicts have in common and cannot
control. Our old ideas are what got us into trouble. We weren't oriented toward
fulfillment; we focused on the emptiness and worthlessness of it all. We could
not deal with success, so failure became a way of life. In recovery, failures
are only temporary setbacks rather than links in an unbreakable chain. Honesty,
open-mindedness and willingness to change are all new attitudes that help us
admit our faults and ask for help. We are no longer compelled to act against
our true nature and do things we don't really want to do.
Most addicts resist recovery, and the program we share with them interferes
with their using. If a newcomer tells us that they can continue to use drugs in
any form and suffer no ill effects, there are two ways we can look at it. The
first possibility is that they are not an addict. The other is that their
disease has not become apparent to them and that they are still denying their
addiction. Addiction and withdrawal distort rational thought, and newcomers
usually focus on differences rather then similarities. They look for ways to
disprove the evidence of addiction or disqualify themselves from recovery.
Many of us did the same thing when we were new, so when we work with others we
try not to do or say anything that will give them the excuse to continue using.
We know that honesty and empathy are essential. Complete surrender is the key
to recovery, and total abstinence is the only thing that has ever worked for
us. In our experience, no addict who has completely surrendered to this Program
has ever failed to find recovery.
Narcotics Anonymous is a spiritual, not religious program. Any clean addict is
a miracle, and keeping the miracle alive is an ongoing process of awareness,
surrender and growth. For an addict, not using is an abnormal state. We learn
to live clean. We learn to be honest with ourselves and think of both sides of
things. Decision-making is rough at first. Before we got clean, most of our
actions were guided by impulse. Today, we are not locked into this type of
thinking. We are free.
In our recovery, we find it essential to accept reality. Once we can do this,
we do not find it necessary to use drugs in an attempt to change our
perceptions. Without drugs, we have a chance to begin functioning as useful
human beings, if we accept ourselves and the world exactly as it is. We learn
that conflicts are a part of reality, and we learn new ways to resolve them
instead of running from them. They are a part of the real world. We learn not
to become emotionally involved with problems. We deal with what is at hand and
try not to force solutions. We have learned that if a solution isn't practical,
it isn't spiritual. In the past, we made simple situations into problems; we
made mountains out of molehills. Our best ideas got us here. In recovery, we
learn to depend on a Power greater than ourselves. We don't have all the
answers or solutions, but we can learn to live without drugs. We can stay clean
and enjoy life, if we remember to live "Just for Today".
We are not responsible for our disease, only our recovery. As we begin to apply
what we have learned, our lives begin to change for the better. We seek help
from addicts who are enjoying lives free from the obsession to use drugs. We do
not have to understand this Program for it to work. All we have to do is follow
direction.
We get relief through the Twelve Steps which are essential to the recovery
process, because they are a new, spiritual way of life that allows us to
participate in our own recovery.
From "day one", the Twelve Steps become a part of our lives. At
first, we may be filled with negativity, and only allow the First Step to take
hold. Later, we have less fear and can use these tools more fully and to our
greater advantage. We realize that old feelings and fears are symptoms of our
disease. Real freedom is now possible.
As we recover, we gain a new outlook on being clean. We enjoy a feeling of
release and freedom from the desire to use. We find that everyone we meet
eventually has something to offer. We become able to receive as well as to
give. Life can become a new adventure for us. We come to know happiness, joy
and freedom.
There is no model of the recovered addict. When the drugs go and the addict
works the Program, wonderful things happen. Lost dreams awaken and new
possibilities arise. Our willingness to grow spiritually keeps us buoyant. When
we take the actions indicated in the steps, the results are a change in our
personality. It is our action that is important. We leave the results to our
Higher Power.
Recovery becomes a contact process; we lose the fear of touching and of being
touched. We learn that a simple, loving hug can make all the difference in the
world when we feel alone. We experience real love and real friendship.
We know that we are powerless over a disease which is incurable, progressive
and fatal. If not arrested, it gets worse until we die. We cannot deal with the
obsession and compulsion. The only alternative is to stop using and start
learning how to live. When we are willing to follow this course and take
advantage of the help available to us, a whole new life opens up. In this way,
we do recover.
Today, secure in the love of the fellowship, we can finally look another human
being in the eye and be grateful for who we are.